The Werewolf's Human Heart
by Geek Squared 1307
Summary: During their fifth year, the Marauders are staying at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays. Remus is upset about some bad news and his friends cheer him up. A gift leaves a lasting effect on Remus' life.


Dedicated to anyone who's ever wanted to read _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_

**Author's Note/Summary**: During their fifth year, the Maruaders are staying at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays. Remus is upset about some bad news and his friends cheer him up. A gift leaves a lasting effect on Remus' life. (The story mainly focuses on friendship, but it can be read with a romantic Remus/Sirius relationship if you, like me, are a fan of the ship.)

**Disclaimer**: This is fan fiction. I do not own J. K. Rowling's _Harry Potter_ or Melissa Anelli's _Harry, A History_ and am not making any money from writing this. Direct quotes are indicated by a number in brackets after the quote and are cited in full at the end of the story in the references section.

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"This classification [XXXXX] refers, of course, to the werewolf in its transformed state. When there is no full moon, the werewolf is as harmless as any other human. For a heartrending account of one wizard's battle with lycanthropy, see the classic _Hairy Snout, Human_ heart by an anonymous author (Whizz Hard Books, 1975)." (J. K. Rowling, _Newt Scamander's Fantastic Beast's and Where to Find Them_)[1]

"Not to be confused with _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_, a heart-rending account of one man's struggle with lycanthropy." (J. K. Rowling, Albus Dumbledore on 'The Warlock's Hairy Heart' in _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_)[2]

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The Werewolf's Human Heart

By Geek Squared 1307

It was Christmastime, during the winter of 1975, and most of the students at Hogwarts had taken the train from Hogsmeade Station back to King's Cross in London. There had been increasingly frequent and frightening news reports about attacks all over Britain, whispers about an evil wizard gathering supporters and gaining power, and most families wanted the children at home. Because of this, the school was almost empty.

Among the few students who remained in the castle, behind its ancient walls, were the Marauders. This had been achieved as a result of no little amount of convincing and scheming.

James had told his parents that he really wanted to spend time with his friends and that, being a pure-blood, he would be safe. "Didn't you teach me, Mother and Father," he wrote in a letter home, "that I should not look down on those who are not pure-bloods but rather consider them my equals? My friends are my equals. If I leave them in times like this, what kind of friend am I?" His parents thought he was being a bit overly dramatic and suspected he was up to something, but decided to let him stay. If there was one thing they were especially proud of their son for, it was his bravery, and as he was their only child, they were inclined to let him get his way a bit too often for his own good - traits of which James was well aware.

Peter had told his parents that he was working on an extra-credit assignment for Potions, a subject in which he had taken an interest, and that the potion would require his attention during the holidays. His parents, impressed that their son had found an academic interest and hoping his friends' good marks in school were having a positive effect on him, agreed to let him remain at school with strict instructions to keep safe.

Remus' parents had been the most insistent upon his return home, especially since they'd read recently about attacks on werewolves in _The Daily Prophet_. They had relented when he told them he'd been falling behind in his classes due to his monthly transformations and that James had volunteered to tutor him so that he would be able to do well on the O.W.L.s. He knew his parents felt badly for him, sorry that his life would be very much limited by his being a werewolf (a condition for which they blamed themselves), and wanted him to have as best a chance as he could at happiness in life. He felt badly for lying and taking advantage of his parents' sympathy, but it was easy to put that aside when he thought of spending time with his friends over the holidays rather than making forced conversation with distant relatives, some of whom thought him a monster.

Sirius' parents were the only ones who were not particularly difficult to convince. "I'm as good as dead to them already," Sirius had commented as the others were coming up with their explanations and excuses. "They'll probably tell the sorry lot of murderers that I'm a blood traitor and where to find me."

On Christmas Eve, the four friends were sitting near the fire in the otherwise empty Gryffindor common room. James was roundly beating Peter at chess. Sirius was reading a Quidditch magazine, his legs slung over the armrest of the armchair he was sitting on. Remus was trying to concentrate on his book.

"Remus, you've been staring at that same page for the last half hour," said Sirius. "What's wrong? Did the doctor get boring?" he added, gesturing at the book Remus was holding. Sirius found Remus' fascination with the _Sherlock Holmes_ stories, and especially Doctor Watson, amusing.

"You _have_ been acting odd recently," commented Peter while James' chess piece pummeled his own.

"You've been all quiet for the past few days," said James.

"It's nothing," said Remus.

Sirius looked at him as though he could tell Remus was lying.

Remus deliberately closed his book and said, "I received a letter from Aaron."

His friends listened intently. They had heard about Aaron from Remus; he was a few years older than they were and also a werewolf. Remus had met him while the two of them were in the hospital after being bitten, and they had been quill friends ever since.

"He's been attacked by Fenrir Greyback's group for not agreeing to join them," said Remus, looking despondent.

"Remus -" started Sirus.

"Don't. It's fine," said Remus, shaking his head.

His friends never did listen to him. They all gathered around him, James at his right, Peter at his left, and Sirius leaning across the space between them.

"He says he's going to be okay," continued Remus, knowing his friends wouldn't accept partial information, continuing to be concerned about him. "I think his mum's going to write to my mum, and then my parents will be all worried about me." He paused. "Really can't blame them, can I?"

James put an arm around Remus' shoulders. "Don't worry, mate. We'll protect you."

"Right," said Peter. "Nobody's going to get to you."

Remus smiled, suppressing a laugh. "Oh, yes, I'm sure Fenrir Greyback and his gang will be terrified of a bunch of teenagers."

"Hey!" said Sirius, "I'll have you know I look particularly frightening as a dog."

Remus looked at Sirius with a smirk. "Yeah, maybe if it was late at night … and he was all by himself on a quiet street … while running from the law, with nowhere to go …"

"… having forgotten how to use magic," added Peter.

"So, yeah, maybe you'd scare off some underage wizard who ran away from home, but you're not going to scare off Fenrir Greyback," said Remus.

"Really, Remus, I feel insulted," said Sirius with a smile.

Remus grinned.

"He _is_ okay, though, right?" said James.

Remus nodded. "He's got a broken arm and a lot of bruises, but - well, he says it's not like it's worse than what he's used to."

James nodded, with a rather sad look on his face.

"He seem rather … well, concerned about me - been giving me advice about how 'it's a scary world out there' and so on," said Remus.

They were all silent for a few moments. They'd all hear the news stories, of course, as everyone had. It was a bit frightening to all of them to think that they would be out there, in the so-called "real world", very soon and would have to fight against these villains who now seemed shadows beyond the school windows, occasionally sneaking into their lives.

"I heard," said Peter, "that everyone's been taking sides - expect Greyback's trying to get an army together."

"Yeah, probably," said Sirius.

"Dad says that there are some people who're targeted by the Death Eaters who are considering forming a temporary alliance with them," James told his friends. "Wonder if Greyback wants to fight the Death Eaters or join them."

"Even if he's fighting against them, it's not much of a choice," commented Remus, "between the Death Eaters and Fenrir Greyback. Wonder who it'd be better to be killed by."

"Remus, mate, you are _not_ going to be killed by them," said Sirius. "There are already people who are prepared to fight against the Death Eaters. I know - my Mum is furious at the people who are in the news for fighting them."

It was true. Interspersed with the horrible stories, there were occasionally signs of hope, of people who protected a Muggle family from Death Eaters, who got together in groups to form neighborhood watches, who fought on despite being outnumbered.

Remus smiled, looking around at his friends. Maybe, he thought, his only two choices weren't the Death Eaters or Fenrir Greyback's gang - maybe a werewolf could find allies and fight on the side of what was right.

#

Remus awoke the next morning when a pillow hit his head.

"Have we decided to kill each other on Christmas morning?" he commented, throwing the pillow at James on the other side of the dormitory and missing by a wide margin as James jumped from Peter's bed to his own.

James smiled at Remus, glad to see that his friend was feeling better. "Sirius finds my Christmas present _in bad taste_," he said.

Remus was surprised; Sirius wasn't a person who would take offense at that sort of thing.

"I didn't mean _in bad taste_, as in _offensive_," said Sirius, laughing. "I meant that it's just so _obvious_. _Honestly_, James, a _dog collar_? You could have at least put something funny on the tag."

"How about _Property of the Marauders_," suggested Remus, looking up at Sirius, who had jumped onto his bed to get a better angle from which to aim at James.

"How about _Snuffles_," suggested James.

Sirius laughed and the pillow throwing continued.

Remus, smiling at his friends, went to open his presents. Kneeling at the foot of his bed, he saw a rectangular parcel wrapped in bright red paper. As he removed the paper, he saw that it was a thick book, its cover the color of rose and water and sand[3] with gold-colored lettering spelling out the title _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_. The summary said that it was one man's person story about his life and the struggles of being a werewolf. The author was anonymous.

"It made me think of you," said Sirius' voice from behind him.

Remus stood up and faced his friend, clutching the book in his hands.

Sirius continued, "Well, bit obvious, right?" He shrugged. "It was released earlier this year, and well, I thought you might like it …"

Remus smiled. "Thank you, Sirius." He gave his friend a big hug.

James made an "Awww" noise in the background and Peter offered them all some of the snacks his mum had sent.

#

Late at night, while the others were asleep, Remus read the book Sirius had given him by wandlight and found within its pages a great amount of solace. Though the book was heart-breaking at points, there was an honesty that he appreciated. Remus had often wondered what his life might be like as an adult, once he no longer had the comfort and safety of a school with an accepting Headmaster.

The anonymous author detailed his story with what Remus thought was a great talent for writing. There were passages about how his life had changed after being bitten - the friends who had abandoned him and those who had stayed by his side, the difficulties of finding a job, dealing with the injuries and emotions, finding hope and solace in unexpected places. The author had even added in various chapters of fascinating historical information that he'd found while reading up on werewolves after being bitten.

Remus wanted to send an appreciative letter and wondered if a letter sent to the publisher might reach the author. He decided to give it a try.

_Dear Sir or Ma'am:_

_A friend of mine gifted a copy your book _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_ to me as a Christmas present. I'm a werewolf and your book was enlightening to read, so I thought I should write you to tell you that I'm extremely grateful for you having written it. To be honest, I'm not quite certain of how to phrase my thoughts, as the book is about such a personal topic, your own life, but it seemed important to let you know that someone appreciates your willingness to share your story._

_There are some experiences you discuss that I have gone through as well and others which (perhaps due to my age) have not yet happened in my life. Reading about someone who faced such challenges and overcame them gives me some semblance of hope, as does the historical information you explain to show how our situation (though difficult) is in some ways better than it once was and can improve with efforts towards equality._

_There are not many things in my life which give me hope for a better future for myself or my friends, but your book is one of them._

_Sincerely,_

_A Reader_

Remus also wrote back to Aaron, asking after his health telling him about Sirius' gift. He also ordered a second copy of the book and had it sent to Aaron's house. Aaron wrote two letters back, one to Remus (reassuring him that the injuries were not all that bad, reporting he'd heard Greyback had gone underground for the time being to avoid attracting too much attention) and - to the Marauders' surprise - one to Sirius.

_Dear Sirius,_

_Hey, I'm Aaron - thought I'd write as Remus told me you gave him a book for Christmas and he sent me a copy as well. I just wanted to say thanks. As you can probably imagine, I do worry about Remus and you lot (he writes about you all the time in his letters). He tells me sometimes about how your willingness to be friends with him keeps him going. It's good to know that there's some good sense in the upcoming generations, and I hope more people in the future will be so accepting. Give my thanks to James and Peter as well._

_Much love,_

_Aaron_

_P. S. Remus told me you're considering buying a motorbike. He seems concerned. Will do my best to convince him it sounds wicked. Just be careful and wear a helmet._

"I told you motorbikes are wicked," was Sirius' first comment after looking up from the letter.

The others laughed.

Remus felt, not for the first time in his life, that he was fortunate to have friends who cared enough to be there for him in good times and bad. Perhaps Aaron was right and the future would be better after all.

#

Many years had passed since that Christmas, so long ago. Remus had recently moved to 12 Grimmauld Place when it had become the new headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. He and Sirius were talking about the previous war and the one which was now starting. Remus was unpacking his bags and getting settled in while Sirius was trying to find some more comfortable pillows in the closet.

"Bloody good to have you here, mate," said Sirius. "Thought I'd go mental living in this place."

Remus smiled. "Oh, I'm sure it won't be too bad here, Sirius - not after Molly's through with it. I heard she's going to get us all to clean house."

Sirius laughed.

While Remus was placing some clothes in an empty drawer, Sirius glanced into Remus' bag, which was on the bed, and noticed a tattered book with a colorful cover. He gently lifted it out of the bag.

"You kept it," said Sirius, surprised.

"What?" said Remus, turning his head. "Oh. Yes. Of course."

"Even though you thought I'd betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort."

"Well, it's a good book," commented Remus with a smile. "I figured it wasn't the author's fault you were a traitorous villain."

Sirius smirked.

Remus was silent for a moment. "It's really helped me, you know, Sirius. That book."

Sirius looked at Remus.

"I mean, after the first war, when you were all gone, and I was all by myself, I found some comfort in that book. I think … I think it saved my life."

They hugged.

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**Author's Note**: Thanks very much for reading, with extra thanks to the readers who came back despite the fact that I haven't updated in years. Feel free to comment, if you'd like. I'd very much appreciate any constructive criticism.

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**References**

[1] Rowling, J. K. _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Newt Scamander)_. London: Bloomsbury, 2001, p. 83, footnote #16. Print.

[2] Rowling, J. K. "Albus Dumbledore on 'The Warlock's Hairy Heart'". _The Tale of Beedle the Bard_. London: Bloomsbury, 2008, p. 60, footnote #5. Print.

[3] Anelli, Melissa. _Harry, A History: The True Story of a Boy Wizard, His Fans, and Life Inside the Harry Potter Phenomenon_. New York: Pocket Books (a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.), 2008, Ch 17, p. 320. Print.

The description of the book is taken from Melissa Anelli's description of the US edition of _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ in _Harry, A History_. I thought it was appropriate, since the book _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_ has a big impact on Remus in this fan fiction story and the _Harry Potter_ series has had such a big impact on the fans.

The following is the description in context from Anelli's book:

"One young woman, not much younger than me, sat near the end of eye line; she was reading, too, her colorful backpack on her lap and her arms circling it, her book acting as a buckle to hold it in place. I traveled on to the next pole down to get a surreptitious closer look; she wasn't reading _Deathly Hallows_ at all. Her book wasn't orange but rose and water and sand, and featured a kid on a broomstick and a white unicorn. _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_. She didn't notice me staring at her.

_Oh, I envy you_, I thought, but was smiling for her. She had just begun." (Anelli, _Harry, A History_)


End file.
